


The Sport of Dweebs

by Lokidog



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-14
Updated: 2007-10-14
Packaged: 2018-12-17 17:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11856264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokidog/pseuds/Lokidog
Summary: To while away the hours, SG-1 partakes in a friendly game.





	The Sport of Dweebs

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

**The Sport of Dweebs ******

****

****Jack paused before the door to Daniel's office and scrubbed his hand through his hair. This was not going to be easy. Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders, opened the door and entered the room.** **

****"Well?" Daniel said immediately.** **

****Jack looked at the grim, but expectant faces of Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c.** **

****"No one's going anywhere. The blizzard is still raging and General Hammond is not letting anyone leave the mountain," Jack said.** **

****"Can't we go through the gate, sir? Somewhere? Anywhere?" Sam entreated.** **

****"You know the gate's shut down for maintenance, Carter. You made up the damn schedule, remember?" Jack countered.** **

****"Don't remind me," Sam said glumly.** **

****"Look, Teal'c stays here 24/7. You're making him feel bad," Jack said. "Right, T?"** **

****"On the contrary, I find this situation amusing, O'Neill?"** **

****"Amusing?" Daniel cried, glowering at his friend. "You know what's going to happen, don't you?"** **

****"Oh God, not again," Sam mewled.** **

****"Yes!" Jack said, rubbing his hands with glee. "It's time for 'pick the sport'!"** **

****"Sleeping," Daniel grunted.** **

****"I'm with Daniel," Sam said.** **

****"Oh, is there something I should know?" Jack inquired, quirking an eyebrow.** **

****"What? Oh, no, sir," Sam stammered. "I didn't mean I wanted to sleep with Daniel, um, no offence, Daniel, I just meant, you know," she said, blushing.** **

****"It's okay, Sam. Let's just get this over with," Daniel said.** **

****"For crying out loud, it's not that bad," Jack said.** **

****"Not for you," Daniel muttered.** **

****"Hey, it wasn't my fault you sprained your wrist playing ball hockey, broke your nose during a friendly little scrimmage of touch football, or sprained your thumb catching a ball."** **

****"Yeah, right," Daniel grumbled. "And it was a gourd, not a ball," he added, wincing at the memory.** **

****"Gourd, shmourd, it just shows you need to play more sports," Jack said.** **

****"Perhaps, Daniel Jackson should pick the sport this time, O'Neill?" Teal'c suggested.** **

****"Yes!" Daniel said, perking up.** **

****"No way!" Jack said, holding up his hand.** **

****"It's only fair, sir. Daniel does seem to bear the brunt of your...our games," Sam said.** **

****"Alright," Jack conceded, "but no mind games," he warned. "The object is to develop motor skills, not mind skills."** **

****"Afraid of losing?" Daniel smiled sweetly.** **

****"Just pick the damn sport," Jack growled.** **

****"Tiddlywinks," Daniel said without hesitation.** **

****Sam snorted, Teal'c raised an eyebrow, and Jack looked aghast.** **

****"Tiddlywinks?! What the hell kind of sport is that?"** **

****"Is that a game warriors would play, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c inquired politely.** **

****"It's the Sport of Dweebs," Jack explained.** **

****"That's a typical reaction from you, Jack," Daniel sighed. "I admit, the name is a little inane, Teal'c, but it does require mental skill as well as agility."** **

****"Agility?" Jack scoffed.** **

****"Nimble fingers," Daniel said, waving his fingers.** **

****"Daniel does have a point, sir," Sam said. "It's not just a matter of chance."** **

****"I would be most interested to partake of your tiddlywink, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, bowing his head.** **

****"Careful, T, it's tiddlywinks and you're embarrassing Carter," Jack said, smirking.** **

****"Thank you, Teal'c," Daniel said, glaring at Jack.** **

****"Daniel, if you can find tiddlywinks on this base, then tiddlywinks it is," Jack said magnanimously, knowing there was no way in hell anyone on the base would have such a thing, much less admit to it.** **

****Daniel frowned then his face brightened. "Poker chips! We can use poker chips!"** **

****"Ah, not regulation equipment," Jack said, raising a warning finger.** **

****"And a gourd is a regulation softball?" Daniel retaliated.** **

****"Damn," Jack muttered.** **

****"Let the games begin," Sam grinned.** **

************* **

****"Not again?" Dr. Janet Fraiser sighed, taking in the dishevelled appearance of SG-1. "What was it this time? Softball? Hockey? Cricket?"** **

****"Tiddlywinks," Sam replied, holding a wet cloth to her right eye.** **

****"Not so loud, Carter," Jack grunted, rubbing his knee.** **

****Janet looked at Teal'c, the latter holding a bloody cloth to his mouth.** **

****"Daniel?" Janet inquired.** **

****Daniel grimaced then massaged his throat. "Hurts to talk," he rasped.** **

****"Colonel O'Neill, would you care to explain why your team is in my infirmary?" Janet requested in that voice which brooked no argument.** **

****Jack hobbled over to a chair and set down heavily. "Like Carter said, we were playing, crap, I can't believe I'm actually saying it, tiddlywinks," he said, lowering his voice.** **

****"Tiddlywinks," Janet said sceptically.** **

****"It was Daniel's idea," Jack groused.** **

****"How on Earth do four grown people get hurt playing a child's game?" Janet demanded.** **

****"I'll tell you. Daniel here was down on all fours, exercising his yap as usual, when Teal'c flipped his tiddly, er, poker chip, right into said archaeologist's mouth," Jack explained. "Teal'c then performed the Heimlich on Daniel, out popped the chip which caught Carter in the eye. I tired to help her, slipped on the damn chip which was wet with God knows what," he said, looking accusingly at Daniel, "and damn near broke my knee."** **

****"And Teal'c?" Janet asked.** **

****"Bit his tongue trying not to laugh," Jack murmured.** **

****"I see," Janet nodded, trying desperately to keep a professional face. "So, in other words, Teal'c tiddlyed when he should have winked," she said, losing her composure and doubling over with laughter.** **

****Jack looked over at Daniel and sighed. "We are so never going to live this down."** **

****"Getting lost in a blizzard doesn't seem so bad right now," Sam said, shaking her head at Janet who was still laughing.** **

****Daniel chuckled then winced, rubbing his sore chest and throat. "I vote, no more sports."** **

****"Indeed," Teal'c said, speaking for them all.** **

****"Hear, hear," Janet gasped, raising a shaky hand then doubling over in laughter again.** **

****

****The end** **

****

****

****

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